What did he do that was so evil ?

Satan looking innocent

Does this look like the face of an Angel or a Devil?

Exhibit A - He Enjoys Torturing Me

  1. He would wake me up before sunrise every morning, usually by jumping on my head but sometimes by scratching at my furniture.
  2. He'd push me out of my own bed. As I toss and turn, he would scrunch right up next to me, until finally I fall off the bed. Nobody would believe this 15 pound cat could do it: but he would on a regular basis. The picture above is what I saw when I woke up on the floor.
  3. If I was resting on the couch he'd jump on me: when I'd relocate, he'd follow.
  4. When he cried, only I could hear him. Everyone else cannot hear him when he wails outside and spoils the show I'm watching. Usually making me miss the climactic endings.

Exhibit B - He Enjoyed Torturing Others

  1. If Mom called him, he'd run to my lap.
  2. If Dad called him, he'd run to my lap
  3. If there was a baby or child that wants to play with him, he'd hide.
  4. Whatever you wanted him to do, he'd do the opposite

Exhibit C - He Was Vicious

Satan attacks without warningHe's a savage! He bit and scratched EVERYONE. He'd even bite you while you were feeding him. Don't ever try to hand him food. He likes to swing his claws and bat the food from your hand; usually leaving a trail of blood behind.

Edina was seduced into petting him one sunny day. I knew what was coming, but she wouldn't listen. He'd made her deaf to my warnings. So I waited with my camera. Without warning he sprang out and took a chunk out of her hand. And she was happy to make the offering.

Exhibit D - He's Killing My Father

Satan and DadDad (and Rowena now) is very allergic to him. But he breaks all the rules by sleeping and shedding where Dad sleeps. If Dad takes a nap and forgets to lock the door, the Demon will go to sleep Right-Next-To-Him.

I keep begging Mom to get rid of the Demon, but she won't listen. She's been seduced by his dark charms.

Exhibit E - He Attacked The Baby

It's true. On December 7, 1997 the cat attacked my niece Aliyah. He left her with a bloody scratch the length of her left cheek. Of course no one actually saw him do it. But we all heard her scream and the crying. He on the other hand vanished into thin air until the following morning. We were all surprised at how calm Edina was. I thought she'd help me skin him. But she just laughed it off. Mom won't even consider having Him declawed.

How can you protect yourself ?

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© 1999
Stefan Oestreicher
Updated 25 Oct 2009